Law and Dis-Order

Yesterday was President's Day in the States, and I enjoyed a lovely public holiday to celebrate...uh...Presidents of all shapes and sizes. At least I think that's what it's all about. I'm sure that's what half of the Americans sleeping in yesterday think it's about too, so cut me some slack.

In honour of the day off, Comcastic (the cable TV ubernetwork to which we subscribe) screened a "Law and Order" marathon. It was old-school L&O, complete with Jerry Orbach - Baby's father in Dirty Dancing - and the delicious Jesse Whatshisname. And the terribly intelligent Jack McCoy tried to right the wrongs in the courtroom, sometimes joined by husky Angie Harmon, and other times by Serena The Blonde Lawyer.

And just as I'd made a proper butt-sized dent in the couch, there was a knock at the door. So much for building security. And as the TV was turned up relatively loud, there was no chance for me to pretend I wasn't at home.

Well thank god I answered the door because who should be there, but two detectives from the Chicago Police Department - shiny silver badges and all!

Turns out a hapless fellow who recently met a grisly end had used my apartment as a previous residence, and the detectives were doggedly following up the outstanding leads. I was hoping for a Detective Gorran-style grilling, but then I realised that I didn't seem guilty enough for that. So I was going to narrow my eyes to slits and start looking around from side to side, but then I figured that might make me look mentally unstable.

So I simply answered their questions as honestly as I could (which was pretty easy, since I knew nothing), and they took their leave. But for the rest of the night, I couldn't help but wonder just what the ex-tenant had done to arouse the suspicion of the local constabulary. In the course of our 'interview', one of the detectives repeatedly referred to the man as "a victim", so my imagination was working overtime as I'm sure you can imagine.

And just as an aside, it was Lexie's birthday yesterday, but I promised her I had not arranged the visit from the detectives. If I was going to organise "a policeman" as a birthday gift for her, he would have appeared on the doorstep in uniform WITH his own tape recorder. And the expectation of cash payment before he took off. I think she was disappointed.

Anyway, when the latter episodes of "Law & Order" offered no help unravelling the world of detective work, I switched to the Food Network and learned all about the evolution of the bagel.

NOW who's the victim here?!