Coughing up a dodgy idea

Crawling out from under my doona this morning, I note that from 6 December, licensed venues in the City of Churches will impose some new no-smoking regulations. Apparently these new regulations are the first in a staged approach to completely phasing out smoking on licensed premises. So let's have a quick view of what the first stage in this process looks like, shall we?
Under the first phase, venues must have:

• ONE smoke-free bar in hotels with more than one bar;
  
• 50 PER CENT smoke-free area in pubs with one bar;
  
• NO smoking within 1m of any service counter; and
  
• NO smoking within 1m of 25 per cent of gaming machines.
  

Does it strike anyone else as odd that hotels are going to have to control where the smoke blows? Isn't that tantamount to controlling the weather? Sounds a little tricky to me. I can just imagine the consequences of exhaling in the wrong direction...

Bar staff: Sir, get out of here. You're breathing in the wrong direction.
Smoker: Get bent.

Yes, friends, Adelaide is going to be one hostile city - people getting turfed out of pubs not for the routine weapons violations, but simply for breathing. And do we really think that packets of ciggies will now be sold with a bonus meter ruler (harking back to school days)? Otherwise how else will we confirm we are 1m away from 25% of gaming machines?

And how are we supposed to calculate 25% of gaming machines? If I am to have a cigarette, it's usually at the stage of a rather long evening, when all I'm capable of performing is a drinking motion (keeping one hand busy), and a button-pushing motion on the pokie machine. How am I supposed to keep my brain cells watchful for that one-metre buffer zone, PLUS ensure that I am safely surrounded by 25% of that venue's pokie machines. And will the 25% that I've surrounded myself with be the same 25% as someone else? Surely it's all relative. Or will venues seriously cordon off the requisite 25% and stuff it full of naughty smokers, so they can all breathe over each other?

Pedantic maybe, but I think it's all a joke until the law suits start.