Thursday, December 16, 2004

Bourgeois Barkley?!

News from China suggests that the careless disposal of the some 200 domestic pets that die in Beijing every day are jeopardising the country's chance for "green" Olympic Games in 2008. Apparently it is commonplace for the Chinese to farewell their loved pets by turfing them into rubbish bins, or burying them in shallow graves on public property. Eww.
And the worst part of this is, the Chinese aren't concerned that the method of disposal shows little or no respect for their furry friends. Oh no, dear friends. The problem that the Chinese government has right now is that the dodgy disposal practices poses a real risk to the health of humans. It's all about us, apparently. It presents a public health issue, germs and viruses pervading our nostrils as we take a harmless (!?) stroll through Beijing's parks and gardens - never the wiser that just below the surface of the flowerbeds lay the remains of Rover, or Fluffy.
Give me a break, man. I understand that pets were taboo in China during Mao Zedong's reign as a suggestion of "bourgeois decadence", but clearly Mao Zedong never lost a pair of pantyhose to a hungry dog. There is nothing bourgeois about that.
So I suggest a new strategy - let's build pet cemeteries. Then we can encourage the remains of pups and kittens across China to be buried or cremated on holy ground. Oooh, then we can issue all school children with a copy of Stephen King's classic book (adapted into one of the suckiest films of all time), and watch everyone freak out.
Okay that is nasty, sorry.

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