Get a whiff of this one!

I have three favourite smells in life - freshly brewed coffee; Chanel 05; and sizzling bacon. Even in the depths of the hangover from hell, coffee and bacon are enough to rouse me. Spritzing Chanel 05 when crawling out to the kitchen is just self-indulgent glamour really, and most likely highly unnecessary come to think of it.

As I walked past my new favourite coffee shop on Grenfell Street this morning, my nose detected smells 1 and 3 mentioned above, and in I dashed. Proudly walking to the counter, I slapped $7 on the counter and proclaimed I was in dire need of a "full breakfast plus coffee, please". I have since discovered that the reference to "full" is nothing about the completeness of the ingredients. Rather, "full" refers to what you become if you're gutsy enough to devour what gets served up. People, my breakfast this morning was MASSIVE.

Cooked mushrooms, fat toast, thick bacon, the most perfect circular eggs I've ever seen, and crispy grilled tomato that mushed easily all over the toast when gently nudged with the knife. It all looked too good to eat. And the coffee was frothy, warm, and inviting. Like a caffeine-laden bubblebath.

So in between learning about tantric sex and summer fashions (courtesy of a back issue of Aussie Cosmo), I set about devouring the delectable spread before me.

And in pathetic girly fashion, I got half way through and surrendered. What crap. Well the coffee went down without even touching the sides (complimentary), but I wonder if it's necessary to leave a note to the poor kitchen staff who laboured to put together the sweet-smelling array?! Something along the lines of, "sorry I was too wimpy to finish the breakfast you slaved over in a hot kitchen to prepare"? ARGH I couldn't bring myself to face them, so I snuck out of the cafe when no one was around.

Maybe someone will bottle the essence of plunger coffee and develop a sheet of scratch & sniff bacon stickers that I can carry with me? But before you ask, you can't cut corners with Chanel 05 - in the case of some things, accept no substitutes.