Knee-ding to focus

I got back into training for the half-marathon this week and despite missing our big training on Tuesday night (theatre tickets), I stuck to the fitness schedule very well. I did my Pilates for strength training and I ran some miles on the treadmill (not as many or as well as I would have liked, but “time on my feet” is more important apparently).

Today we're on a rest day, and I'm left alone with my thoughts - always a dangerous prospect.

After a week of good intentions it saddens me to realise that my body is rebelling against me. Today for instance, the muscle behind my left knee is very sore and it even hurts to walk let alone run. I’ve iced it, I’ve heated it, I’ve stretched it, and I’ve even massaged it and I still can’t shake the nagging pain. My body has staged a mutin-knee. Sorry, couldn't help it.

For heaven’s sakes, all I want to do is run 4 miles without stopping and my body – via just one knee - seems to be doing everything it can to stop me.

And if I can’t run 4 miles, how am I supposed to do 13.1 miles in March? I am starting to panic about this.

I’ve shared my fitness fears with the coaches and they assure me everything will be fine. They tell me never to doubt myself and I want to believe them. I really do.

The coaches also tell me that lots of people had a training break over the holidays and are now trying to get their heads back in the game. “Focus” seems to be the challenge for a lot of us at the moment – the need to recommit to training, fitness and fundraising.

My head and my heart are ready to focus and to recommit, but my body doesn’t seem to want to play ball. It’s so frustrating. I am afraid that I’m going to be the slowest, most unfit person at the back of the pack; the lamest horse in the race. I know what they do to lame horses.

We have training at 9am tomorrow and according to the schedule, we’re supposed to run 6-7 miles. Just the thought of it makes me sad.

How am I supposed to keep my head in the game when I can’t even picture myself in it?