Just heat and pour, Mack

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Originally uploaded by alton.tw.

Arnold and Willis were right - the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. And today's trip to this multi-million dollar global coffee empire on La Salle and Randolph proved it.

I was feeling a little flat this morning and the bus ride was a stop-start affair in peak hour traffic so, upon arrival Downtown, I figured a restorative jolt of java was in order.

Calling into the nearest Starbucks, I placed an order for a 'tall cappuccino'. I obediently stood back with the other customers to await its production.

The two over-worked, and evidently under-appreciated baristas beavered away behind their respective steamy, noisy machines. And every so often, the most bizarre beverage combinations were bellowed across the store:

Skim mocha latte!
Venti Vanilla half macchiato!
Semi skimmed grande frappaccino!
Very hot grande decaffeinated mocha!

You get the idea. But I swear, in all the time I stood there, not a single coffee order was replicated. Different strokes for different folks took on a whole new meaning here.

So when I meekly shuffled to the counter to collect my (comparatively no frills) TALL CAPPUCCINO, I was met by stares that seem to communicate one word: Simpleton.

It was so funny. I have to go back tomorrow. This morning's episode was Steve Martin's "LA Story" all over again. [If you have no idea what I mean by this, rent the video - it is classic].

Have I mentioned I love this town?!