There's a caiman in my toilet

No, not a caveman, a caiman. It's a reptile native to South America, and a freakily large specimen is now believed to be gaily swimming around the Los Angeles sewer system. Oh goody.

But what takes the biscuit for me is the supposition that this Roaming Reptile was once a domestic pet that was released to the community when it got too large for its home. Like a sharp-toothed teenager, it was kicked out to the kerb, told to fend for itself.

Problem is, this little fella can feed on dogs, cats, and little old ladies not paying attention when they cross the street. It's clearly not attracted by the raw chicken (and tortillas?) that law enforcement officials, park rangers, and local fishermen are using to tempt it. Don't they know that Steve Irwin only uses raw chickens for TV? Sheesh.

I bet the Hollywood studios are rubbing their hands with glee. A Godzilla sequel like this just writes itself!