Thursday, June 30, 2005

The proverbial giraffe

When something is said, or occurs, that no-one wants to mention - either because it's a blatantly taboo subject or just too uncomfortable to bring up - people say that a giraffe has just walked into the room. Because you can't miss it, and yet drawing attention might be considered vulgar.

Well my hayfever has given me a creepy case of pink eye. It's itchy and also very unsightly (pardon the pun). Because I know it's there, I'm damn sure that everyone I talk to knows its there. But these people abide by polite social conventions, they manage to ignore the proverbial (pink) giraffe that has taken up residence on my face.

But I want it gone. So to hasten its removal, I'm pouring eye drops into my sockets like there's no tomorrow but nothing is working. Just when I thought pink eye was bad, I realise that I've even been rubbing my eyes so much that - just for good measure - there is also some sort of allergy-related sty action going on.

Are you grossed out yet?!

If anyone has any remedies for the hasty removal of these plague-like afflictions, please let me know. And before you suggest it, I have considered the AHOY ME HEARTIES eye patch solution but figure that it might only make me look shifty.

Any thoughts?

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm not sure about home remedies but after that explanation I'd like my own room!

Anonymous said...

Get yourself to the doctor Gaarbi

kilabyte said...

Might I suggest a bell around your neck, sack cloth shift and ashes on the top of your head. Wont cure your afflication but will certainly keep people away.

Unknown said...

Very constructive, you lot - cheers for the support.

Batreg delivered the face-mask and both of us looked like The Elephant Man. Before, not after.