My kingdom for a chaperone?

I visited my Granny's place last night for dinner (a once in a fortnight ritual) and announced the impending travel plans. I am not sure how much of the actual itinerary sunk in, but Polish granny seized on the "travel alone" part. The world is not safe for a young woman travelling without a chaperone, she thinks.

Obviously a chaperone in this context is a male and hey, that would be really sweet. But come on - does she think that even if I met a man now I'd want to travel with him? And does she think I actually want to travel alone? I'm not sure I do. Certainly if my friends didn't all leave the country a few months ago (and yes I'm taking that personally?), I might have had someone with whom to traverse the world's hot spots. But alas, that is not to be.

So I am left to journey solo, and pay a fortune for single rooms, taking photos of myself with my automatic snapping function on the camera, and "ooh" and "aah" at signficant monuments to the nonplussed strangers around me. Oh and just think - I can spend my travel time being perved at by smelly passengers on sub-standard foreign public transportation systems. What joy! Oh and there's more. I must learn to deal with the pitiful glances from lovers at restaurants as they gaze at the single seductress dining alone. They will wonder, "has someone stood her up? Does she always dine alone? Are her table manners really that atrocious?".

But how will I deal with all this social inevitability? Will I smile to myself? Or will I be shamed by their stares, and consign myself to eating canned food in a dingy rental apartment to hide away from the social stigma of singledom? Will I fade into the background and be miserable? Not a chance.

After all, and this is where I get slightly "Hallmark meets Disney", surely life (single or couple) is about being happy with who you are. And isn't that what grannies everywhere want for their grand-daughters? I think so.