Wednesday, June 06, 2012

The mess in the dress

If a plague of locusts swept down and ate my face this afternoon, I would not be at all surprised.  In fact, I would consider it the rancid cherry atop the mouldy sundae that has been my day.

So where did it all go wrong?!  Well, I woke up at 6am this morning so I can safely assume that fatigue is playing a part in my state of mind.  But my day didn’t start out so rushed – it was quite relaxed, in fact.  I made myself a coffee and some toast, and got back into bed to read (and finish) my book.

Keep in mind the fact that not once this week – not even once – have I dressed appropriately for the weather.  Today is no exception to this.  My bad fashion choices have been (as my boss used to say) a total embuggerance.

But sartorial misgivings aside, my day really was going alright...until I got to the office. 

Almost on cue as I walked in the door, my left shoe started rubbing on my toe and I could just feel the blister forming.  Do I keep a spare pair of (sensible, non-rubby) shoes at the office?  Uh, that would be a no.  But I do have blister bandaids and while they helped to ease the pain, my shoe nevertheless continued its assault on the plaster bandage.

Never one to deal well with tight shoes, let's just say the day started tanking from there.  What else happened, you may ask?  Well, read on - and bear in mind, this is just a sample:

  • Having to interrupt the conversation of three people at a food store, so I could buy a sandwich;
  • Getting wound up in totally frustrating but terribly brilliant red tape bureaucratic BS at not one, but two organisations that should really know better;
  • Attempting to answer my ringing Blackberry, but the phone slipped out of my hands, fell into peak-hour traffic on 42nd Street, and broke apart;
  • Losing $1.65 in change in a vending machine after trying to buy a bottle of water;
  • Trying to get free water out of a drinking fountain, only to have the water dribble out rather pathetically;
  • Missing six calls, but being unable to hear the voicemails because the reception was utter crap;
  • Getting distracted and catching the wrong train to a destination I’ve been at least 15 times;
  • Having to take the bus to said destination, in peak lunchtime traffic;
  • Needing to use her credit card for one tiny purpose and having the machine declare it unreadable;
  • Giving some guy at the train station a free peep show when I got caught in a gust of wind, with no free hand to hold down my skirt;
  • Intending to go uptown, but taking the downtown train instead; and
  • Realising the wrong train I'm on is actually an express. 
DUDE.  All of this, and it’s not even 4pm.  I really think I should just take the universe’s hint and get back in bed.  With a  bottle of Diet Coke and a bad DVD, of course.


Batreg said...

Truly sucky. But I still laughed, that's what (this) friends are for. xo

Anonymous said...

Better you than me but I must say I always thought that 'bad luck' only came in three's? Maybe you're like a squirrel and saving lots up for later. You sure you're not a squirrel come back in human form???