D'oh!

GOOD GRIEF! (Tai Shan June 4, 2006)
Originally uploaded by dcmandrill.

You know how I had this fake boyfriend story going with the checkout chick at the local supermarket? Well today I felt brave enough to nip the melodrama in the bud and announce that we had broken up. No "Ben and Jerry's", no sobbing, just a straight-shooting, old fashioned 'we're not together anymore statement. One white lie to shroud the other.

So I get to the register and he asks (again), "how's your baby doin'?" and I clear my throat and declare very matter-of-factly, "oh, we're not together anymore.". He looks shocked.

"Yes," I continue, "he left and moved to Manhattan,". Brilliant.

He looks concerned and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Oh you poor thing. So what is it, a bitter custody battle?".

What?!

"He must miss being with his mamma", says he.

What?!

Okay so great - now I am not only a single woman, I'm a single mother - whose child has just relocated to Manhattan to live with his father.

I just wanted to curl up and die.

Why does even my fantasy life have to be so complicated?!