GOOD GRIEF! (Tai Shan June 4, 2006)
Originally uploaded by dcmandrill.
You know how I had this fake boyfriend story going with the checkout chick at the local supermarket? Well today I felt brave enough to nip the melodrama in the bud and announce that we had broken up. No "Ben and Jerry's", no sobbing, just a straight-shooting, old fashioned 'we're not together anymore statement. One white lie to shroud the other.
So I get to the register and he asks (again), "how's your baby doin'?" and I clear my throat and declare very matter-of-factly, "oh, we're not together anymore.". He looks shocked.
"Yes," I continue, "he left and moved to Manhattan,". Brilliant.
He looks concerned and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Oh you poor thing. So what is it, a bitter custody battle?".
"He must miss being with his mamma", says he.
Okay so great - now I am not only a single woman, I'm a single mother - whose child has just relocated to Manhattan to live with his father.
I just wanted to curl up and die.
Why does even my fantasy life have to be so complicated?!