A half-hearted Hooray for Hollywood

Marilyn Monroe handprints outside Chinese Theatre, Hollywood
Originally uploaded by Betty Nuggs.

Day 3: Goin' to Hollywood, City of Dreams

I once read a book about Paris that opened with the theory that pretty much everyone has been to Paris at least once. Granted, the author was trying to communicate the idea that each person has so often fantasised about Paris that they feel like they've been there. Their imagination builds it up so much that by the time they actually do make it to Paris, the reality of the City of Lights has a hard time stacking up to the imagined one.

I don't share the author's view about Paris per se, but I will give him snaps for the idea. Certainly the Hollywood of my imagination (and it's a fertile one as you well know) did not quite stack up to the real thing, and let me explain why.

Having been a movie buff for years, I find the escapism of the cinema one of life's most indulgent pleasures. There's something magical about old cinema; something other-worldly about the time of Fred and Ginger, Hepburn and Tracy, or even (to be cheesy though accurate), about Bogey and Bacall. Watching all kinds of movies over the years, not to mention countless award shows, I've formed a romantic and idealistic impression of the hometown of all these stars, past and present.

So when I actually walked onto Hollywood Boulevard, past the Kodak Theater (home to the Oscars ceremony) and past the sidewalk stars of Carey Grant and The Marx Brothers and such, I was a little let down. Because I don't believe that any of these cinema greats ever imagined that their stars would share real estate with strip joints, porn shops, and other dodgy enterprises. Not that I have anything against such retail outlets, but come on! Hollywood is a fantasy land, sure - but perhaps not that kind of fantasy.

Still, I had come to Hollywood Boulevard to see Marilyn's handprints and I did exactly that. J drove me to the Boulevard and after a beer and some chicken wings, I convinced him to help me find Monroe's hands. He almost vomited said beer and wings when I bent down to put my own hands in her prints, not really considering the layers of foot traffic, grime and filth that had no doubt been piled up on those handprints over the years. I promised faithfully to sanitise my hands when we found a restroom. J just rolled his eyes. [And for the record, my hands are smaller than hers were *wink*]

A couple of cocktails at Aphrodisiac later, and we were both feeling better but all I wanted to do was crash. And that's exactly what I did, on the correct pillows this time.

Day 4: TGIF

Friday arrived and I hadn't even realised. I guess it was the interruption to my normal work week, coupled with the idea that I was also a tourist in this crazy town. Perhaps it was the cosmopolitans?

I went onto my very first construction site close to the Consulate and I even had to wear a white hard hat. Sharing a very slow-moving elevator with about 20 sweaty construction workers was also a first, and the least said about that experience the better. Sadly, not a Diet Coke man amongst them. But I was there to view the Consulate's new site and it will certainly be impressive when it's finished. Still, it's hard to imagine the plush interiors and hardwood flooring etc from the shell that currently exists. Unfortunately my Hollywood imagination doesn't extend to real estate.

Lunch was a delicious buffalo chicken burger at a southern cafe and then it was back to work for a few hours, before checking out of the Park Hyatt and making my way to a housewarming party for one of the guys at the office. His apartment building is huge but, like LA, sprawling. And when I was told that there were 600 apartments in the complex, I nearly fell over. 600 apartments - and potentially one or 2 people in each apartment? It made sense to me that the population of LA is pretty much the entire population of Australia. But still...crikey!

Late Friday night, the Deputy at the Consulate (N) dropped me off at my new hotel in Santa Monica, where I'd elected to spend the weekend shopping and soaking up the sun. News about those two blissful days will follow.