When things don't work out for me, I am known to claim that I will write a sternly-worded letter to the appropriate authorities, in the hope that such an atrocity will not recur.
Up till now, those have always been empty threats.
But today I was jerked around by the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) for the last time. While waiting patiently for the 135 - widely acknowledged as the most unreliable bus route in the City - I had endured enough 38 degree heat for one day - and I thought I'd cleverly jump on the next 156 bus that came along. A safe bet, I thought, given that 400 of them had already passed me in the 10 minutes I'd been waiting at my bus stop.
And though the 156 didn't take me close to my house, it did stop by the Gap store in my neighbourhood, and I could always treat myself to a few new summer 'gifts' at the store on the way home.
So I jump on the 156 bus that stopped dutifully in front of me, only to realise quite rapidly that it wasn't air conditioned. I melted into my seat, next to Mr SweatMonster, whose pores positively leaked.
Having sweltered on the bus for 40 minutes, all I could do was dream about the chocolate ice cream I'd enjoy on the walk home from Gap, fresh wardrobe purchases swinging happily from my arm.
"Excuse me ma'am," yells the driver from the front of the bus, "but you have to get off - this is as far as I go."
WHAT THE?! I was still 4 blocks from The Gap. She was making me get off, endure the heat, and change buses. Right, cheers.
I would have done a dummy spit after all this, but I was just too hot. So I did my best 'harrumph' and walked to a nearby bus stop to AGAIN await the 135 bus close to home.
I am therefore in mind to prepare a rather sternly-worded letter to Mr and Mrs CTA. Any suggestions on what I can write to draw attention to their summertime incompetence....?
5 comments:
Bloody unastrayan is what it is
Dear Sir, Madam or It,
I write to you in a spirit of friendship, efficiency and effectiveness. The last 2 adjectives I put in this letter simply so you know how to spell them becoz you certainly have no idea what they mean and the spelling will help you find them in a dictionary. Friendship is there as well becoz it stops me hurling abuse at your incompetent, nitwit drivers becoz of their lack of efficiency and effectiveness. Now fix it or face my wrath for I am "the masked ninja". PS if this letter has come to you in error please return to my address on the back of the envelope. (How about something like that?)
I like it - it has potential. Perhaps I will provide some illustrations at the bottom of the letter, just to make use of my Crayola set. And glitter pens. Beware of the glitter-wielding ninja.
I like how you're going to complain to them that you were hot, had to walk further to the GAP shop where you had planned to buy yourself summer pressies and had to delay your chocolate icecream experience even longer.....haha
Just take yourself to your happy place Gab called Xanadu - nothing bad ever happens in Xanadu! :)
just so you know, there are 2 156 buses. for some reason, one stops 5 blocks earlier than the other. next time, take 156 to halsted. however, putting the masked ninja bit in a letter would be great, copy me on that one. rene
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