Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The bed that the boys built

I don't like it when women play the role of "damsel in distress" unless, naturally, they are in some sort of real distress. But in defence of women everywhere, I think it's fair to subscribe to the generally-accepted theory that men like to be needed. And perhaps it then falls to women to make them feel this way. This is the selfless reason that many women, myself include, choose not to understand how to replace a washer in a tap; how to unclog a drain; or how to set up a fantastic bed that gets delivered to a 3rd floor apartment late in the afternoon.

Bill and Ben, the Furniture Assembly Men, showed up at my abode promptly yesterday around 4.20pm after I'd raced home on the bus to greet them. Not precisely on time, but close enough. From the lounge room window, I waved my hanky at my two knights as they drove up on their noble steed, which rather resembled an ancient white removalist truck. Good naturedly, they each broke every verterbra in their back to heave the bits and pieces of my brand new bed up three flights of stairs to where I waited breathlessly for their arrival. Funnily enough, they were breathless when they arrived too.

Declining my offer of beer or water or a sandwich, the boys set to work, furiously connecting A to B to C to D (if only all beds were so logical) until they were done. But no, the service did not stop there. The boys then carried my mattress from my old room into my new one, and laid it gently in place. While they didn't offer to then make the bed for me, I was not one to complain. Because I now had a bed that wasn't going to inexplicably collapse and then require me to ring Sweden to order replacement parts.

But then the boys did the one thing I honestly didn't expect them to do. They took all their rubbish with them, leaving my room as neat as when they'd found it. So I hugged them to my bosom.

No I didn't.

But I did give them cash so they could buy beers after their job well done. And when they'd driven off into the sunset, I rang their company and commended their professionalism and their kindness, going above and beyond the call of duty. I meant it rather sincerely too, even if the guy on the other end of the phone thought I was disturbed. But I got the last laugh, because my sleep last night was simply heavenly.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

So the Princess has a new bed. I say you got to Fields and but some great new.deluxe bed linens. Just don't let any peas roll into your mattress...

Anonymous said...

And no more doggy doo-doo on the mattress becoz the "white rat with the floppy ears" wont be able to climb up on the bed ....... will he ??!!??

Anonymous said...

Well it's starting to get back to normal I see .... amazing how guys get sucked in by a free beer and a 'bit o' skirt'. Wouldn't happen back here .... you shielahs have to know how to look after yourself ..... I'd say more but da momma just told me I have to go and finish the dishes.

Unknown said...

That's right Mikey - you may as well wash the cars while you're there with all that bubbly water.

Anonymous said...

yep - definitely make sure u dont have peas/pees in or on your mattress

Anonymous said...

They didn't want beer, water or sandwiches Gab....they wanted you!

hahahahah

Unknown said...

As my colleague Melissa always says to me: "Three little words - Never Gonna Happen"