No spoonfuls of sugar here

Pills2
Originally uploaded by toasterking.

Let me say right from the outset of this post that I like America and I like the American people I've met so far. In general terms, Americans are friendly people who enjoy a joke and are almost perversely interested in where I come from and whether we really DO ride kangaroos down the main streets.

Really.

But sometimes Americans simply baffle me. In the words of my favourite transsexual comedian (cause everyone's gotta have one), I stand back, blinking, and just think 'what on earth are you people doing?'. A discussion about cable television will illustrate my point.

If you've got cable television, as I have, you'll know that quite often there are 400 channels, and only about 3 programs you'd actually consider watching. This is not a phenomenon unique to America.

What I believe IS unique to American television is the astonishing number of commercials offering chemical solutions to ease pain and suffering. I'm talking about the variety of pills and potions being hawked on American TV to cure even the smallest of complaints. Who are the advertising gurus behind some of these promotions? Clearly it is not an employment condition to have a social conscience! For instance, the USA's equivalent of Panadol is a pill called Advil. It basically cures any ache/pain you can think of. But the ad for Advil features a woman who chats quite nonchalantly about all the pills she was on to cure her various ailments before she discovered this miracle cure. She took pills for her knee strain, pills for her back problems, and don't even get her started on the various migraine medications she was pumping into her body. And I know enough about PR and advertising to know that this sort of commercial is meant to appeal to Mr and Mrs Average, who are supposed to empathise with this woman. Advertisers want us to say 'wow, I'm pumping MY body full of pharmaceutical goop too. Maybe Advil will be MY saviour too!' What a crock?!

And when all this pill-popping is done, what do Americans do when they can't sleep? That's right, they pop a pill. But careful people - this pill will help you sleep, but may well render you completely unable to ever operate heavy machinery, have children, or carry on an intelligent conversation for the rest of your life. Sure, you'll sleep great but be positively ruined when you're awake!

I watched a commercial last night for an anti-depressant. It pledged to cure your depression (with no adverse results on your sex drive), but you run the risk of kidney failure, stomach ulcers, and acne just from taking it. Now, if THAT'S not going to depress you, nothing will.

ARGH this nation drives me crazy. One the one hand, you've got pharmaceutical companies and the FDA hawking such ridiculous drugs on TV with the accompanying hilarious commericals. But on the other hand, you've got the talk shows that encourage you to solve the world's ills with a big group hug (Oprah); a complete personality overhaul (Dr Phil); or belting someone with a chair while being stark bollocks naked (Jerry Springer).

Confronted by such diametrically opposed tactics, however are Americans supposed to feel better? Watching a naked lunatic do a smackdown on national television probably helps...