Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Back off, dirtbag

I know it may sound paranoid, but sometimes I think the universe really is out to get me. And it can be relatively small and stupid things that confirm it. Take today, for instance.

AB has finished her temp assignment at the Council, but I've been extended for four weeks (oh, didn't I tell you that? Yay me). Anyway, I've been getting up and out the house early by myself the last few days. It's a lonely existence, having breakfast alone in a quiet house, trying desperately not to clang dishes in the sink for fear of waking everyone. But I digress.

Not only did I clang dishes and slam doors this morning - while I was actually trying to be quiet - I dropped my lipstick on the lid of the ceramic toilet seat and it made a God Almighty crash. I suppose the expletive that escaped my lips sounded delightful when echoing off the bathroom walls too.

All of this noise was followed up with some deafening sneezing and blowing of nose, when I categorically declared myself to be allergic to the house. All the fields, cut grass, pipe smoke, perfume, dog hair - it all combines to give me the itchiest, runniest, snottiest nose I've ever had. And I believe I alone am keeping Mr Kleenex and his Mini-Tissue enterprise afloat.

Emerging from the house shaken, but not stirred, I crossed the road to await the bus. I didn't have to wait long, and I was greeted by Evil Kanevil, the smiling but inherently evil bus driver. I had not even sat down and he was already foot to the floor, so I had to fight the urge to release the expletive from my mouth and instead, collapsed into my seat. I spent the rest of the 15 minute journey gripping the seat infront of me, and trying to keep all my belongings contained as we hooned around hairpin turns and screamed off Motorway exits.

All I ask is that I arrive at work in one piece, with my sinuses intact. I don't care if it all goes to hell at 10am, because by then I will have had my coffee and be ready to deal with that sort of thing. Until then, I ask that the Fates; the Furies; and Chaos the Universal Bully, just bugger off and let me get on with it.

3 comments:

Rockin' said...

Nice to know that you have found someone more evil than me!!!!

Gab said...

And here I was thinking you'd forgotten me!!

You sure you're not related to bus drivers in Scotland though, Rockin Robby G? Or perhaps been teaching them some of your old tricks?

Rockin' said...

I have been told that there may be a bit of Scot in my background (which is a bit iffy), could be related. Haven't forgotten you, have been reading your entries and have a good laugh. Do miss you though.