Never Eat Soggy Weetbix

I remember when I was in Year 9 and we were learning about navigation. I have a terrible sense of direction, but fortunately it's accompanied by an unfailing ability to seem perfectly in control.

In an effort to dispel the mysteries of a compass, my geography teacher took it upon himself to bestow upon my class a mnemonic (a rhyme or poem you use to help you remember things).

To the strains of "Never Eat Soggy Weetbix", Mr R took us clockwise around the compass (North, East, South, West). Has it helped? Perhaps. Do I still get lost? All the time.

Courtesy of a much more helpful friend and colleague, I yesterday received a series of pocket-sized City maps (Paris, London, Dublin) to help keep me on track during the upcoming holiday. No one can read a Metro map quite like yours truly, but the street maps make me nervous. I hope that by remembering to Never Eat Soggy Weetbix, I can keep myself oriented.

I suppose looking up from the map once in a while will help - if nothing else, it will keep me from tumbling into the Seine.

...and now for something even more nerdy, I've thought about 2 more mnemonics I learned at high school:

• Roy G Biv: The order of the colours of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet); and
• My Very Elegant Missus Just Sat Under Nine Potatoes: This mnemonic makes no sense of course, but it reminds me about the order of the planets in our solar system (Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto).

I also have one for the elements in the periodic table, but I think if I told you that one, I'd have to kill myself for being the most pathetic person I know - so I'll spare us all.